Most Psychotic Children EVER!
by Queen of Gambitia Minion
Summary: Just an amusing fic about Tabby and Pyro. Why Tabby and Pyro you might ask? Because they're both clinically insane! ::RESURRECTED::
1. There once was a man from Leeds

**I'm baaacckkk**

**i killed everything because i hated it.**

**Okay, not really, but i did edit it until i realized i was doing the some things over and over again. so here it is, new and improved.**

**"Most Psychotic Children EVER"**

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! was the sound of John's alarm clock yes, even pyromaniacs have alarm clocks that woke him up every morning. At least, if that particular alarm clock lasted that long. This one had a record though; four days, thirteen hours, and twenty six minutes.

"Aw, shut up,'' said Pyro groggily, searching for his favorite lighter which he kept under his pillow. duh. "There you are Sheila." He said lovingly to his precious, after finding "her" somewhere next to his bedside table, shining in all her silver glory.

"Mon ami, shut dat damn alarm clock off s'il vous plait!" yelled Remy from his bedroom across the hall. St. John answered him with a grumble and a burning cloud that engulfed the alarm clock and the table it was sitting on, melting it into a plastic-y blob-ish mass.

"Rien, John, dat's da third one dis week! There is a thing called a snooze button you know!" said Gambit, poking his head through the door. "Magneto's gonna take away your lighter for dis one Mon ami." He said as a look of sheer terror crossed Pyro's face. "You know how much it pisses him off, and he's already pretty ticked. Da hairball managed to break all da windows on da third floor."

"How?"

"Remy don't know, but he heard da words "catnip" and "crossbow" through de bucket head's swears. You better watch it mon ami!" As if on cue, Magneto's voice came from the loudspeakers conveniently placed along the hallway.

"Pyro! My office! Now!"

"Oh, shit. E's gonna take her away from me," said Pyro, voice wobbling "mah Sheila!"

"Ease down mon ami! You can always get a new one!" Pyro momentarily forgot his Sheila's danger and took time to look as if Gambit had just insulted him, his mother, his father, and even the ::gasp:: precious lighter "her"self.

"What did you just say mate?" he had gone deadly soft. "Get a new one, a _replacement_?" Flames began to rise around them courtesy of the Shelia. Gambit was beginning to be seriously afraid. Not only because of the growing wall of fire behind him, but the fact that John hadn't inhaled in the last five minutes and was beginning to turn purple.

"Easy John, I was just kidding." Said Gambit, very much concerned. "Now go see what our bucket-headed leader wants, and _please_ inhale for Gods sake! You look like a Smurf!"

ChapterLineDance8

Very slowly, John crept over to Magneto's office door. "Pyro," said Magneto, "that's the third one this week! Not to mention the chairs table, refrigerator, and TV!" Pyro just grumbled something about "Steve Irwen" and "Overgrown hair ball"

"Never mind! John, you are going to stop doing this! NOW! Or I shall have to take your lighter away and make you fight without it!" With that, all the blood drained from Pyro's face.

"Not mah Shelia!" he squeaked.

"Well, then you have to stop burning everything! I swear, between you lighting everything aflame and that stupid ball of fur, I think I'll lose it for good!"

"Sir yes sir!" said Pyro, not really aware of anything now that his "Shelia" was safe from harm. Because of this, Pyro didn't notice the door to Magneto's office was still closed. BANG! He now had another lump on his head to add to his collection. "Damn door." said Pyro with his all-so-shexy aussie accent. "I'll teach you to mess with me!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" and so Pyro made Magneto seriously think about looking into another asylum by ruthlessly disciplining said offending wooden object.wood? why wood? "Let this be a lesson to all doors that dare stand in myway! BWA HA HA HA HA HA!" yelled Pyro, dancing about the smoldering piece of wood. Why it was wood, Pyro couldn't figure out, as he took a few minutes from his "hee hee hee fire fire fire" dance to ponder this. Obviously, if the door was made of metal, Magneto could slam it without getting up off his arse, and what super evil bad guy dude wants to get up to slam his own door? I wouldn't. Oh well. After he thought the door had been thoroughly punished, Pyro frolicked down the hallway as only he could do, lighting things aflame as he went, including some random boxes, a chair, and Sabertooth, who ran away screaming like the sissy little girl he is.


	2. Who swallowed a packet of seeds

**Sea Monkey Has My Money**

After putting out a flaming Sabertooth, Remy went into the kitchen to find some cornflakes. After finding his beloved cornflakes, mmmmm, nummy nummy cornflakes Gambit sat down at the table across from John, whose head was craned up towards the sky "Bonjour mon ami, what you doing?"

"I'm counting the dots on the ceiling. What did you think mate?" said John, annoyed at Remy's lack of observational skills. "1456, 1457, 1458…"

"Mon ami, dere are no dots on the ceiling…" said Gambit, looking up."But never mind. Want to come wit Remy to find his chere? After he's done with his cornflakes of course, but Remy is bored"

"What did Magneto say about it mate? You know how he hates us just running off."

"Haven't you heard? Magneto's gone. Da hairball went to see if da Bucket-Head could fix his door, which he broke, again, by walking into it when it wasn't open, and-"

"I think the doors are plotting against us mate, one did that to me this morning, but I punished it severely, it won't be running into me again! BWAHAHAHAHA!" "Anyway, all he found in Magneto's office was a note on the desk. It said something about Magneto needing a vacation because you broke his brain."

"Oh, okay then, just as soon as I finish…" Said John, still counting the dot's that only he could see. They're there; you're just too stupid to see them, so blah. Totally disregarding the fact that he had driven a grown man into a state of emotional breakdown.

"Remy is concerned for your sanity mon ami." He said, dragging John out the door and onto his motorcycle.

ChapterLineDance

"2000!" said John, totally oblivious to everything else, even the fact that he and Remy were riding down the street at 15 miles over the 40 mile speed limit on Remy's motorcycle.

Finally they reached Bayville High. It was lunch, and the campus reminded John of an ant hill. A _fire _ant hill. hee hee The two thieves went over to the football field and Remy decided that they should split up because John kept burning the freshmens. Obviously recognized because of their shifty eyes and their darting about the campus to avoid football players.

"Look mon ami, you must stop burning them! We'll be noticed!"

"Aw, mate! I was jus' havin' a bit o' fun! And besides, that squeak they make when ya get 'em is soooo worth it!" whined John. "Here, listen!" He said, lighting a nearby freshy's back-pack on fire.

"EEEEEP!" squealed the girl after she noticed her smoking bag.

"John, just… no." said Remy. "But Remy does need to find his chere, so you go over dere, and I'll go over dis way, far, far away from you." Said he, already disappearing through the crowd.

"Oh, okay," said Pyro, distracted by a group of girls, _Ah, _he thought _my next victims._ Trying to follow them through the mass of humanity that was the campus, he didn't notice the Goth girl that we all know and love heading straight towards him until they were on their arses in the grass.

"Watch where yer goin' ya piece of shi- um, hah Pyro…"said a very stunned, pissed-off Rouge.

"'Ay sheila!" said Pyro, getting up and brushing off his trench coat that he found and loved, not to mention totally forgetting that he was supposed to tell Rouge that Remy was looking for her. "watcha doin'?"

"Well, ah was _tryin' _to get to class, but than ah ran into you." Pyro wasn't paying attention. A group of freshmen had just walked past, and was to busy plotting to hear a word.


	3. So a whole bunch of grass

**May I Nackle Your Nubles? **(its a bandcamp thing)

"Why are ya here at mah school anyway?" said Rouge after the five minutes of silence that followed her last comment.

"I came with Remy. I think he's lookin' for you."

"Oh," she said, starting to walk away to find Remy, of course but John was following. "Shoo, freak, don' botha meh!"

"Sure mate, but..." John replied, stopping in mid-sentence.

"What's yer problem? Run out of freshy's to ignite?" asked Rogue when she noticed him staring over to a collection of backpacks, tables and people eating lunch.

"Who's that?" St. John pointed over to where Tabitha stood. She had just managed to blow something up, resulting in a shower of burning papers, pencil fragments, and smoldering cloth scraps. Had Pyro been in his er, "normal" mind state if it could be called that he would have frolicked in the hail of burning school supplies, and would have prevented something that looked suspiciously like Jeans midterm paper from lighting his hair aflame.

"Uh, that's Tabitha. Why?" Rogue asked, not really caring about his flaming hair.

Seeing that he was in his own little world, Rogue edged away to find Remy.

Totally oblivious to everything besides the results of the explosion, John failed to realize that Tabitha was coming over to him.

"Holy crap dude! Your hair's on fire!"

"…"

"Hello? Anyone alive in there?"

"…"

"I know what will wake you up." ::Tabitha laughs evilly::

She made a very small one of her bomb-things and stuck it in the pocket of his coat.

"Three...two…one…" said Tabitha, relishing what was about to happen

BANG  
Pyro snapped out of it.

"Ay, sheila, you tryin' to kill me?"

Tabitha cracked up.

"Woah," she said, gasping through peals of laughter.

"What's so funny?" asked Pyro, a little pissed off because the girl he was drooling over five minutes ago had cased a small explosion in his favorite coat and was laughing about it.

"Dude, you sound like the Crocodile Hunter! That's hilarious!"

"I _liked_ that coat…"

"Whoa, dude, chill out alright? I was just kidding." Seeing that this had a very small affect on his mumblings, she tried a different approach.

"Hi I'm Tabitha."

" St. John."

"Is that an aussie thing?"

"Um, I really don't know sheila."

"Just a little update for you, but your hair is _still_ on fire."

"What? Oh…"

Pyro reached for his hair which was still on fire, but not burning 'cause of his powers and the flame flowed into his palm, making a neat little ball of burning stuff.

"You control fire?" she asked, awed. Pyro nodded. "That is so freakin' cool! Hey, you one of Xavier's muties?"

"No, I'm an Acolyte," he drawled.

"Huh?" said Tabitha, confused.

"You know, one of Magneto's precious little 'mind-slaves', as he so lovingly refers to us."

"Um, yes… I don't really pay attention to that stuff anymore."

"Why?"

"Well, the whole quitting-the-X-men thing doesn't help the info flow much, but the parties are better. Where is the ol' bucket head anyway?"

"On vacation, probably plotting the demise of every human being on the face of the earth."

"Vacation?"

"Yah, I think we finally pushed him over the edge."

"How did you manage that?" Pyro was going to answer her, but the bell rang signaling that everyone should get to class.

"Don't you have to go to class too?" Pyro asked.

"Oh I will," replied Tabitha, smiling evilly "Eventually."

"All right Shelia! I was hoping you'd say that!" said Pyro with a smile and a tiny blush. "this place depresses me, lets go somewhere else."

"Ok" said Tabitha. They walked together off the campus, and wove their way through the alleys until they reached the eastern side of town.

"Hey, rumor has it that that shop down the street makes killer sundaes"

"Sundaes aren't _cold_, right?" Tabitha smacked him upside the head. "Hey!" said Pyro, putting his hands up in defense of his already beaten skull.

"Dude, you is severely tweaked in the mind, but I like that in a guy. Keeps things interesting yah know?" Tabitha smiled up at him.

"Oh, well, we try."

"Something tells me you don't have to…" They both laughed and entered the shop together. Awwwww…


	4. Grew out of his arse

**"...so this guy walks into a bar with a monkey on his head right?So the bartenders like..."**

Very slowly, Tabitha headed back to school. If it were up to her, she'd still be threatening Pyro with her very cold banana split, but alas, that wasn't the case, and she still had to trudge all the way back to before anyone noticed that she had been gone. She entered the building just as the bell signaling the end of fourth hour rang, and teenagers of various grades flooded into the hallways. Tabitha threaded her way through the crowd to her locker to collect her binders for Geometry next hour. She was going to stop by the bathroom to make sure all the chocolate syrup was off her face, but the bell had already started to ring, so she dashed into her class just seconds away from being tardy. Not that she'd care anyway, but she didn't feel like an added detention. Tabitha took her seat in the back of the room, as far from the teacher as she could get. Her desk was positioned next to the window that stretched the length of the room's eastern wall. "Pssst!" A voice whispered from the person in the desk next to hers. Tabitha turned to see Amara, who hurriedly glanced to see if the teacher was looking at her. Seeing that the teacher was totally absorbed in explaining scientific notation to Blob, which everyone knows will take a while she turned towards Tabitha. "Hey,"

"What?"

"Like, where were you? You totally missed fourth hour and I had to have Toad as a science partner!"

"Aw, man. Sorry about that. I forgot that we had a lab today."

"So where were you? Kitty said she saw you with like, some guy during lunch, and no one has seen you since."

"Oh…"

"So, who's this mysterious guy she was talking about?"

"Yah mean St. John?"

"John is it? Is that why you were gone fourth hour?"

"Yeah. We went to Heindlgan's."

"The ice cream shop? aka the like, number one place for first dates?"

"Maybe."

"That explains the chocolate on your face, but Tabby, I need details! So where did you meet this "John"?"

"I saw him staring at me, in some kind of trance or something, so I kinda blew up his coat pocket to wake him up."

"Sounds like true love."

"Hey, he deserved it!"

"So what did you like, talk about?"

"Oh, some stuff. He's a mutie yah know, but he's not an X-men or in the Brotherhood, he said he's something else."

"John? Now where have I heard that name before………."

"I don't know, he said he was an Ack-something" said Tabitha, trying to remember.

"Acolyte?"

"Yeah! How did you know?"

"They're the people that Kitty says she like, always has to fight, Magneto's new group. I think Rouge likes one of them, Remy or something. I'll ask Kitty."

"Could you do that for me? I know she's in your English class next hour. You sit by her don't you?"

"Not anymore. Now I have to sit by Pietro. If he's there that is."

"Bummer." Said Tabitha, not really meaning it.

"Oh shut up! You get to sit next to Lance for three classes! That is sooo like, not fair!"

"You forget that he's mad at me for killing his Jeep. Twice. That can be painful. All he does is glare at me. It pains my heart ever so." Said Tabitha with a fake sorrow.

"So, is he cute?"

"Who? Lance?"

"No! John!" said Amara, rolling her eyes,

"Oh, ha ha, me is smart. Oh yeah, but he has this ever-so-shexy aussie accent that totally makes you forget that he's gorgeous."

"Hold on. Orlando Bloom gorgeous or Lance gorgeous?"

" Orlando Bloom gorgeous defiantly, but with a shexier accent"

"You are sooo lucky!"

"Oh, I know. Jealous?"

"Um, YES!!!! That is so, like, not fair. Orlando Bloom gorgeous with an aussie accent? You are the luckiest girl in Bayville!"

"Do tell…"

"Wait, I forgot about Remy…"

Oh yeah! I saw Rougie with this totally drool-worthy guy who I assume was him. Cajun accent, tall, dark, handsome, and with a goatee. Oh yeah, totally drool-worthy."

"Sounds like Remy alright, not that I've actually seen him, but I herd the view was nice." said Amara with a wry grin. "Anyway, you said John's a mutant. What does he do?"

"He controls fire! It's sooo cool! er, hot." said Tabitha with a smile. "you should see him! He can make all sorts of stuff out of fire! Like birds and horses and tigers and butterflies and fish and wolves….."

"Tabby dear, you're babbling." Said Amara after Tabitha began repeating herself.

"Yah, so you guys would make the perfect team, but-"

"Why? Not that Im like, objecting mind you -"

"Well, he can't actually _create_ the fire but-"

"Really? Kool! Can I like, steal him from you? Please?"

"_But, _you're so sane and he's so not, besides, he's mine, so back off sister."

"FRED! TEN DIVIDED BY TWO IS FIVE! NOT THREE! AND YOU USED YOUR CALCULATOR!" came the exasperated yell of the teacher, who was still trying to explain scientific notation to Fred.

"She pops more blood vessels that way….." drawled Tabitha.

"To true, to true." Said Amara, in an equally sympathetic tone. The two girls looked at each other and had to use all their willpower to stop themselves from laughing.


	5. And his butt was all covered with weeds

**Three blondes walk into a bar. (you figure one of them would have seen it) :P**

Pyro went back to the Acolytes super secret base in a happier mood than usual, not seeming to care that it was now very dark out. Coming through the door, he met a very confuzzled Remy.

"Mon ami, where were you?" said Remy, raising an eyebrow, "I thought you'd meet me by de bike."

"Oopsie-doodle," said a sheepish John. "'guess I forgot mate, sorry."

"How did you get home den?"

"Walked" said Pyro, still in a mood parallel to someone who is currently as high as a kite.

"In de dark?"

"Yup"

"In de _rain_?"

"Yup"

"Three questions Mon ami; Where were you, how much did you drink while you were there, and why didn' you bring some home with you?"

"I was, er, not trying to burn down the school?" nice save Johnny boy! That'll fool 'em

"Um, oui?"

"Yes…" said Pyro, edging away… right into a very pissed off Sabertooth. "heh heh, 'ello mate?"

?????????????????Chapter?Line?Dance??????????????

"Grrrrrsnarelgrowlglaresnarelgrrrr," said Sabertooth, "Rawrhissgrowlsnarel glareroargrrrrr." and for those of you who don't speak stupid-furball that translates roughly into "Magneto sent us a message and wishes to speak to all of us at once."

"Oui monsieur!" said Remy, dragging John who was still all happy and skippy to the control room.

Inside the huge metallic-looking room was a very worried, metallic-looking Colossus.

"Hello comrades, you took your time yes?"

"Sorry Mon ami, we had to wait for John."

"Sorry mate," said Pyro, "I was busy not trying to burn down Bayville High." way to stick to your story John!

"For three an' a half hours non?"

"Erm, yeah…"

"Snarelgrowlgrrrrrawrgrowlgrrr." or; "I believe that he located a supply of narcotics and proceeded to intoxicate himself."

"WHAT!?! That's right crazy mate!"

"Den what were you doin' den?"

"I told you!"

"I mean de _real_ story."

"Grrhowlsnarelrwrgrr" I still stand strongly behind my original belief that he found drugs.

"But…"

"Pyro! You know our "policy" on drugs as much as Remy himself does. WHY DIDN"T YOU SHARE???"

"Yes comrade! That was mean to us!"

"FINE!!! I was at an ice cream shop!"

"An ice cream shop?"

"YES!!"

"You do realize dat ice cream is cold oui?"

"Yes…"

"So… Why were you at an ice cream shop?"

"'Cause the sheila I was with-"

"Hold on comrade, you went to the ice cream shop with your lighter?"

"No goose, I didn't go with **_THE_** sheila, I went with **_A_** sheila."

"So you found yourself a fille?"

"Yes."

"Alright den! Dat makes everyone except-"started Remy, but the rest of his comment was lost in the huge sobs coming from Sabertooth.****

"Whineshreikhowlsobgrrrrsnarelwhinegrowl!" choked out Sabertooth.

"Except de hairball."

"It's alright comrade! You'll find the right girl eventually!"

"Whinesobshriekcrygrowlwhinesob!"

"Yes, I really do believe that there is someone out there for you" comforted a somewhat disturbed Poitr.

"Sobwhinegrowlcrysob?"

"Er, yes? I guess Logan _could_ count as the right "girl"…right comrades?"

"Oui? Well, to each deir own as dey say…"

"Sure mate…"

Sabertooth: "GROWLSNARELROARGRRHOWLSNAREL!!!"

Queen of Gambitia: "I was just kidding I swear! What ever you to do together is your own business!

enter Logan

Sabertooth: SNARELGRRRHOWLROAR!!!"

Logan: "She said WHAT?!?!?!?!?!

Queen of Gambitia: EEEEEPPPP!!!

fin

"_Anyway, _someone said the Buckethead wanted to talk to us?"

"Right comrade! He sent us an email!"

"Email?"

"Yes," said Poitr, "would you like to read it or just stare at the blank screen stupidly?"

"I'd personally like o sta-"

"NON!!! Just read it before Remy pummels you."

"like you _could…_ " said colossus, opening the message. It said:

_From the screen of Eric Lensherr:- _

"Woah, is name is Eric?"

"John, just shut up."

_From the screen of Eric Lensherr- _

_Dear Acolytes, _

_ You may have noticed that I have been gone on vacation to gather together the remains of my sanity. While I was on the plane, I made a list of tasks for you to complete by the time I return. Because I am feeling quite vengeful, you each must perform tasks that will probably lead you to crying in a corner before you complete them. Remy must get a job so he can pay for all of the stuff he's blown up, stolen or made sweet sweet love- (A/N: perhaps I wont…) coming to a total of $3729.41 _

Merdemerdemerdemerdemerdemerdemerdemerdemerdemerdemerdemerdemerde!!!"

_­ Pyro must learn to swim, because I'm feeling malicious, _

"NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

_Victor must buy a teacup poodle to be called "Fluffy" and must take care of it until I return. _

"…"

"Where did he go anyway ay mates?"

"Didn't you see the radon unnecessary short that so rudely interrupted the fic?"

"No…"

"Well, Remy did, and Remy also heard de hairball growl something about killing the Queen of Gambitia."

::insert odd look here::

"Um, okay den back to de email…"


	6. So one day he went over to france

**Long wait i know, and this doesnt really go anywhere, but im working on the other half of this, so just chill okay? jeez**

**You will now die from basil poisoning...**

But the email was missing!

"What de hell?"

Okay, fine, not really.

_If he eats the poodle, you all shall fail. SO make sure you watch him very closely. Poitr, because you are the only one of my minions who hasn't caused me any excessive pain and suffering, you shall only be required to go about moving all of the random boxes to all of their proper random-boxy places _

"Ay, what is in those boxes anyway mate?" asked Pyro.

Colossus shrugged. "Kinky man-thongs."

"BWAHAHAHA! That explains everything!" said Pyro in a loud but devious fashion.

"Wait, what does kinky man-thongs explain?" asked Remy, gorgeously confused.

"EVERYTHING!" screamed Pyro, still being ever-so sly

"So comrades, what shall we be doing?"

"Drinking."

"BURNING THINGS!"

"Getting the key to my cage?" said a before unnoticed Mastermind from his corner where he was kept until the garbage needed to be collected.

"Um, no, no and you wish. How about you be trying getting a job and learning to swim, "

"WHAT! YOU MEAN YOU ARE ACTUALLY GOING TO MAKE US DO THIS STUFF!"

"I would be looking for my swim trunks if I were you comrade."

"BUT I HATE GETTING WET!"

"Oh come on Mon ami, it can't be dat bad… it is de same stuff you shower in everyday…"

"NO IT ISNT!" screamed Pyro

"Wait, you do shower don't you?"

"Yeah, in FIRE!"

"Figures."

"Wait comrades, there is an attachment on the email…"

"Oh good, dis might but an end to dis insanity…"

"OPENITOPENITOPENITOPENITOPENITOPENIT!"

"What is it mon ami?"

"It… is… a registration form to Bayville swim school, a job application to Wako Hamburgers and a website about poodle adoption."

"DAMN IT"

"Merde."

"GRRRHISSRAWR." Or, what's this about poodles?

"AAAHHHHH" screamed Remy, Poitr and John, as Sabertooth had snucked up upon them.

"Roarsnarelgrowl" or My god you sound like a bunch of 13 yearolds


	7. With a whole bunch of grass in his pants

Wow... this also goes no where... how unfourtunate...

**"Hey Angie? This is Tommy. We have something in common. We're both wearing your underwear... :click:"**

"Holy crap mate! Where did you go? You had that breakdown and then you just disappeared!" said John, trying to conceal the fact that he had just screamed like a fourteen year old girl.

"Growlhissrawrroargrrsnarelwhine." (I told you when I left that I had fan fiction writers to murder! Jeez…"

"Ooohhh," said Remy, John and Poitr in unison.

"So now what mates?"

"Well, as de hairball is under house arrest, Remy guesses that he has no choice but to pick Sabertooth up the cutest, fluffiest poodle he can find. And since Remy has to go to :sexy twitch: Wako Burger anyways, he may as well get a dog to." said Gambit, already sauntering out of the control room.

"WAIT!" screamed John,"I NEED TO BUY FLOATIES!"

And so once again, Remy and John piled onto Remy's motorcycle, off for another marvelous adventure…sort of

DANCE OF THE CHAPTER LINE

"HEY GRANNY! MOVE YOUR BUTT ALREADY! THIS IS A FIFTY MILE ZONE!" screamed John at the car in front of them.

"John, on, dis is a twenty mile zone. Du, we are at a stoplight and de light is red, and Twa, dat is not an old lady. Dat is a guy who looks like an ex-football player. So shut your mouth befo-"

"WHO YOU CALLIN GRANNY!"

"Before he gets out of de car."

"OOOOOHH CAN I BURN HIM!" screamed Pyro, not grasping the danger of the situation.

"Non," Said Remy, "De last ting Remy needs is to start a fight in broad daylight with plenty of witnesses." The guy had started to walk over to them, eyes blazing in contrast to the beet-redness of his face.

"DID YOU NOT HEAR ME PIPSQUEAK? I SAID, WHO YOU CALLIN GRANNY!"

"Are you sure mate?" whined John, "I would burn him quickish-ly!"

"NON." Said Remy, looking for a graceful way to get out of the situation.

"Daddy! Courtney's party started like, ten minutes ago! We are going to be like, late!" whined a teenage girl, getting out of the passenger side of the SUV. Remy sighed. That would have to work.

"Bonjour mon belle fille," said Remy, words dripping with all of the charm the Cajun possessed. As that was quite a lot, the girl promptly had a heart attack from a sexy-ness overload and died. Okay, no she just passed out, but the heart attack thing sounds cooler

"Holy #$&$$!" yelled the guy, catching his daughter before she killed herself on the white-hot asphalt. ha ha I said "ass"! "If my daughter hadn't just gone into shock from your overwhelming sexy powers, you would be so dead right now!" yelled the guy, getting into his car after putting his daughter in the passenger seat.

"Whew, that was a close one ay mate?" said John, laughing nervously."

"John, Fermez votre bouche et si vous pensez même l'ouverture d'abuot il, moi soufflera les dents hors de votre crane.(X)" A/N enter crappy Google translation here :P

John was unusually quiet for the rest of the ride.

X: Shut your mouth. If you even think about opening it i will blow the teeth out of your skull


End file.
